Thoughts At The Attic
by little princess
Summary: Vegeta is cleaning the attic when he finds some of Bulma's old Photobooks. What will he see? Or more important, what will he think? COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, I just use its characters  
  
Cleaning The Attic  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Here I am, In the attic. Wasting my time cleaning it up while I could've been doing something useful like training. But instead, that damn woman made me do this woman job! It's a disgrace. A prince like me shouldn't be doing this. We should have servants to do this! But the woman leaves me no choice. She won't fix the gravity room until this is done. Humans!  
  
I grab a box. I might just as well throw it away; I certainly wouldn't miss it. But curiosity gets the upper hand. I want to know what is inside here. I can't explain what's happening, but I must take a look inside. I put the box down on the floor. I remove the lid and I look at what is inside the box. There are several books in there. Or maybe they are albums. I take one of them out. A name seems to be written on the cover. The name is unclear though. It's all covered in dust. I wipe away the dust. The name is still quite unclear. I narrow my eyes and now I am able to read the name. It says Bulma. I know I have to put the book away, but something is stopping me. I don't know what it is, but it is almost forcing me to open the book. I sense the room to make sure nobody's there. I'm all alone. I open the book.  
  
The first page inside is black. It has something written in silver symbols. The light in the attic is very dim, that makes it harder to read what it says. But my trained saiyan-eyes do not fail me. The letters on this first page say 'To our sweet daughter Bulma. Let the memories live once more.' Memories? What does that mean? What is this?  
  
My hands are trembling as I turn to the next page. Why? Why are they shaking? This next page is black too. Only this time there are no letters, just photographs. I see a man and a woman. They are holding a baby. Wait. I do see letters. This photo has a subscription. It says: 'Look, our daughter was just born! We named here Bulma and she's soooo cute!' Cute? I take another good look at the picture. Are those her parents? Now I see the resemblance between the ones in the picture and the real ones. The same eyes, the same smile. Only their hair is different. Well, I guess that's just their age. I've noticed that humans often get grey hair as they turn older. Some of them try to cover it by dialling their hair. Not that it'll do them any good. You don't need a trained eye to see that it's all fake.  
  
My thoughts go back to Vegetasei. I don't remember anyone there with grey hair. But then again, most of the warriors were killed in battle even before they had the slightest chance to grow old. Frieza would make sure of that. I grit my teeth as I think back of the one that destroyed my planet. The planet I was supposed to rule. I shake my head to get rid of that thought. That's all behind me now. There is no Frieza anymore. He's dead and that's it.  
  
I look back at the book I'm still holding. Why would anyone want to do this? Why are those humans so pleased to place their memories inside this book? It's no use. It's all behind them. Whatever happened happened and there is no way they can relive it all over again. Neither can they change what happened. But why do they want to hang on and torture themselves with those foolish memories? And why do they write a book about it?  
  
I wonder what I should do next. Should I turn the page? See what else is in here? More memories? More pain? I know I'd be better of if I just put the book down. I try to close it. There it is again. That feeling! AARGH! Why can't it just leave me alone? I want to scream. I want to shake my head and scream like a wild animal, just to make that feeling go away. But I won't. I somehow know it'll be no use. I recognise the feeling. I can't place it just yet, but I recognise it. And I know that the only thing I can do is turn to the next page. And so I will.  
  
On the next page I see more pictures. I see pictures of Bulma as a baby. She is so small and fragile and. weak. Not human weak but baby weak. Like all babies are. Even on Vegetasei. I remember looking at the newborn babies there. They were tested for their rank. The weakest babies were sent to planets such as this to grow up there and take it over. I remember Kakarot being sent here. He was a lower rank too. BLAST YOU KAKAROT! You were a lower rank you hear? A LOWER RANK! But he surpassed me! And by doing so he took away the only thing I had left. Frieza wanted to take away my feelings, but Kakarot.He took away my pride! It makes me even more angry every time I think about that. Again I shake my head. No. I said NO! I will NOT be reminded of that day anymore!  
  
Suddenly something touches my cheek. In a quick response I slap my hand against it. I feel something small against my fingers. I lower my hand to see what it is. A fly! Nothing but a useless, little, annoying fly! And now it's dead. I spread my fingers and the fly falls down. But it didn't fall on the floor as it was supposed to. It fell on the book I was still holding. It fell straight on the picture where Bulma's parents were washing here as a baby. In fact, it fell straight on Bulma. I blow the fly away from the picture. Now I see a naked Bulma. A naked baby-Bulma with no breasts or anything. It is strange. I have never seen her like that before. So innocent. So small. So. ugly. Compared to what she's grown into, she really was ugly. I realise I like her better the way she looks now.  
  
Now I've really had enough of this. I want to put the book away and go downstairs to train. Oh, no. Not again! Yes. Again this feeling comes back. What is it? Damn it, WHAT is it? Could it be curiosity? No. It's deeper than curiosity. Stronger. It's more like. like longing! That must be it! But how can it be? Why am I longing to see what else there is? Why in the universe would I have the desire to know? It doesn't matter. I can't stop it. I can't stop the way I feel. And DAMN do I hate that!  
  
My breath is trembling with every page I turn. I see so many pictures, so many things I never knew. I see people I've never seen before and I see Bulma having fun with them. I see Bulma's first birthday, her first day at school, the first time she rides her bike. I see her growing older as I turn over the leaves. Her laughs, her cries, her happiness her pain. All these emotions. What should I do with them? They're killing me! With every page I finish the longing for the next page comes back. Along with the fear. What is that? Why do I fear a book? Do I fear to see what will be next? Am I afraid to see more emotions?  
  
Bulma just keeps getting older. It goes so fast. She's 6 now, no 7. Now she's 8, 9, 10. The last picture here is a picture of her 11th birthday. I see Bulma in a swimsuit. A green swimsuit. Her hair is tied up in a ponytail. I see some other girls. They're all wearing swimsuits. At the background, I see her mother. She is serving drinks for the kids. I have no idea what is inside the glasses. Tea probably. Or maybe just soda. Everybody is laughing as they pose for this picture. They are all so happy I can barely stand watching.  
  
I close the book. Finally. That was the last photograph. I turn the book around. Again, I see those letters that are supposed to spell the word 'Bulma'. Finally I'm done. My hands are still trembling. I decide to put the book back in it's box. I look at the other books that are in here. Should I get an other one? Or should I just leave it be?  
  
  
  
This is the end. Or is it?  
  
Want to know what else Vegeta will find? Review and you'll find out soon! 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, I just use its characters  
  
Thoughts at the attic  
  
I close the book. Finally. That was the last photograph. I turn the book around. Again, I see those letters that are supposed to spell the word 'Bulma'. Finally I'm done. My hands are still trembling. I decide to put the book back in its box. I look at the other books that are in here. Should I get an other one? Or should I just leave it be?  
  
Chapter 2  
  
I don't want to go through the same thing I just went through. I don't know what came over me. Why couldn't I just put the book away? That sure would have saved me a lot of trouble. I look at the box. A card is attached to the box. I hadn't seen that before. My hands are not trembling anymore when I hold the card against the dim light. It read 'Photoalbums'. I look back in the box. There were eight books inside now, three red books, a purple, two blue ones and two green. The book I just had was green.  
  
I realise I want to know who these other books are from. Just one look won't harm, will it? I tell myself I won't let it carry me away like that anymore. I check once more if there's nobody around before I decide to take another book out, a red one this time. But just in case I do get that feeling again, I will open it in the middle. I don't look at the cover, I can't. I place my hand on the book. My fingers still aren't trembling. I guess that is a good sign. I open the book and I look at the photograph I see. There is a woman on it. She is shopping. She is holding a lot of bags. The woman has a big smile on her face. I remember the woman. I remember her from the first picture I saw in Bulma's album. It was her mother. I read the subscription. 'I just found out I'm pregnant! Isn't that great? I'm going to have a baby! But first I'm going to buy some clothes that will fit me when I'm fat. Wow! A baby! Can you imagine?'  
  
I wonder what she's so happy about. Like a baby is that much special. Those brats get born every day. And besides, it IS what women are made for. But then I remember when Bulma told me she was first pregnant. Her parents were on a business trip. Bulma had made something what she called 'special' for dinner. I don't remember what it was; I only know that for the first time she had made me some decent food. Not something horrible like she usually did, and still does. Anyway, I of course did not complain about the food. I was thinking of making her a compliment, but I decided I'd better not do that. I didn't want her to think she was Miss Universe of Cooking all of a sudden just because she had one meal right. So instead I asked the woman why the lights were so dim. She said she had news to tell me. I had no idea what it could be but I could tell by the looks on her face she was very happy with it, but she hesitated to tell me what it was. Was she looking for the right words? Or perhaps she was afraid I wouldn't be so pleased with it? I didn't know. And I hate not knowing. So I asked her demandingly what she had to tell.  
  
And then those words came. '. I'm pregnant. In about eight months we will have a baby.' That sure had browbeaten me. 'Pregnant? But. how?' How? Was that the best I could do? I knew very well how this had happened. I could still recall that night a month ago. Her body, my hands. Her voice, my lips. That night was ours and ours alone. But before I could drift away with my thoughts, she touched my hand. I looked up in her big blue eyes. I didn't know what to say. But then I saw the happiness in her eyes and I started imagining what it would be like to have a kid, an heir, someone that would follow me in my footsteps. Someone that would look up to me. And that someone became Trunks. Though not showing it off to everybody, I sure was proud when he was born. And I still am proud of him as he has grown into a strong teenager and he will grow into an even stronger man worth being the heir to the throne, even though there is no Vegetasei anymore.  
  
I look back at the photo in the book. Well, now I know where Bulma got her happiness. But then again, I have always known it came from the way too happy blond woman. I look at the picture beneath the one I just saw. The blondy is showing off her new clothes. I realise that this album must be hers and I notice that I'm not interested in seeing pictures of her at all. So I close the book and put it back in the box. I take the next book out, an other red one. Since I didn't have that strange feeling the last time I opened a book, I decide to just start at the first page. I open the book and I see her again, the blondy. Only now I see her man too. They are kissing each other and from the looks of it, they have no idea there is a camera near them. I look at the next picture. This one should be taken right after the picture above, for both the man and the blondy were looking straight at the camera, a little embarrassed. The blondy has her hand in front of her mouth, laughing like she always does when caught doing something when she expects to be alone. The man has one hand placed behind his head and he too is laughing with slight embarrassment.  
  
I groan at the picture. My bad mood I had earlier is coming back now and I really don't like looking at pictures like these. So I close this book too. I look at the cover and I read the name of the blondy. Wait a minute, I see a pattern here. I take out the red book I had before this one. I look at its cover and see that that book too belongs to Bulma's mother. I take out the other red book and check that cover too. Yes, that must be it! Books from the same colour belong to the same person. Why didn't I think of that before? That means that the green books are both Bulma's. Hmm, I wonder whose the other books are. I take out one of the two blue ones and look at the cover. So the blue books belong to her father than? I don't really think those will be interesting. All I ever see him doing is working in his lab or chatting with his woman and daughter. And of course he pets that cat, but I don't think I'll see anything new in him doing so in there. So I put that book away too.  
  
That means there's only one book left. The purple one. I wonder whose that is. Bulma and her parents all have different colours. I take out the purple book and look at its cover. I bright silver letters I read the word 'marriage'. Marriage? I've heard about that before. Isn't that what Kakkarot and his women have? Bulma has told me about that once. All I understood from the entire story is that the two mates get some sort of holy bond or something. It sounded pretty pointless to me, but to humans it seems to be important. I open the book, not knowing what to suspect.  
  
On the first page I see a picture of Bulma's father. If I hadn't seen it with my very own eyes, I would not believe this would be possible. In fact, I still don't. The man is wearing a. SUIT! I've never seen him like this before. And when I take an other good look at the picture, I'm not disappointed I haven't. Dende, does he look ridiculous in that thing! Looking at his face I see he is pretty uncomfortable in that suit. As he should be, I think with a little evil grin coming to my face. I decide to look at the next picture before I start laughing out loud. I wouldn't want anyone to hear me do that up here. It would only bring questions I don't want to answer.  
  
At the next picture I see the blond woman again, only now she is dressed in a big, white dress. She's wearing something on her head. I wonder why she has that. Was it raining outside that day? But if it were, this thing wouldn't have given her much protection for it looks more like wire netting than like a hat or something. The water would've gone right through there. And even if it was for protection, she could have taken it off before they took the picture. They're inside anyway.  
  
I take a good look at her dress. It has long, tight white sleeves. The dress really shows off her upper half. I can't help but wondering how Bulma would look in a dress like that. I've seen her wearing dresses before, but not like this one. Somehow I find it hard to imagine her like that. But maybe that is because the blondy looks kind of ridiculous in that thing, just like her man does in that suit. Why would anyone want to wear those things anyway? Could that be part of that bonding thing they're doing? Must be so. If it's not, I don't see a reason for them to make a fool out of themselves wearing that.  
  
As I turn over the leaves my assumptions get confirmed. The two mates are the only ones dressed up like that so it must be part of the ritual I realise this is. The other visitors are just dressed for a formal party. One picture really gets my attention I see the woman with her wire netting again, only this time the thing is very long. It's being carried by two young ladies as the woman walks to her man. I can't help but wondering whether this is part of the ritual or if they are just afraid the woman might slip over that clumsy long thing. I check the subscription. 'Aren't they just adorable? They carried my veil so well today! Look at how proud they are!' So that's what they call that wire netting. A veil. I look at the two kids. They do indeed look proud and serious about what they're doing. It must be part of the ritual, since they seem to like it so much. Stupid thing. Now I know for sure I will never do that. I must admit I really am getting curious. I want to know what Bulma would look like in that dress. Not curious enough to dress like that though!  
  
I continue turning over the leaves. I see a lot of things I don't understand. I see a man in some sort of dress (a man in a dress?) carrying a book., standing behind a table, waving with his arms while talking. I see the mates giving each other a ring (how peculiar, they had the same idea about the gift) and then I see them kissing. I see them having more and more fun. The book ends with photos of a big party. I close the book ant put it back. I'm glad that book's done. I don't think I understand that ritual of theirs all too well. At some points I'm even more confused than I already was.  
  
I look at the box. I see the green books. I know I've seen the left one already. But what about the right one? I keep gazing at it for a few seconds. Do I really want to know what's inside? Do I want to go through that again? My hand starts moving towards the book. I feel how my hand takes it out, but I can't remember ordering it to do so. I look at the cover. I know what it must say and indeed it does. 'Bulma'. My head is going crazy. The feeling comes back to me again, the longing. My hands start trembling as I open the book.  
  
  
  
That was chapter two. Want more? Just Review! 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, I just use its characters  
  
Thoughts at the attic  
  
I look at the box. I see the green books. I know I've seen the left one already. But what about the right one? I keep gazing at it for a few seconds. Do I really want to know what's inside? Do I want to go through that again? My hand starts moving towards the book. I feel how my hand takes it out, but I can't remember ordering it to do so. I look at the cover. I know what it must say and indeed it does. 'Bulma'. My head is going crazy. The feeling comes back to me again, the longing. My hands start trembling as I open the book.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
I'm already having a bad feeling about this. I don't want the same things to happen over and over again. But nevertheless, I open the book. I can't help it. DAMNIT! I can't help it!  
  
At the last photo in her other book was about her 11th birthday. I wonder if this book will be about the rest of her life. I can't help but wondering if there's a picture of me in here. I sure hope not. I hate it when somebody takes a picture of me. Why would they want it anyway? What is the good in staring at an image? It's not like it'll talk back to you or something. It just keeps staring. I remember when Trunks did that once. He had a picture of some girl at his school and he just kept staring at it all day. Even during our training he was distracted because of her. That sure isn't normal. He knows better than to be distracted in battle. If he wanted to see her that much he should've just gone over to her house instead of wining at home. During his Training! Well, guess that's just another human thing. Just like marriage. Pathetic!  
  
I look at the first page. I guess I was right. It looks like Bulma was 11 here. At least, she looks the same age as on the last photo in the other book. She's at the beach and she's wearing a bikini, though I don't see why. Her breasts haven't even begun to grow yet! But how much I hate it, I must admit she's not ugly. With her blue pigtails and her pink bikini, she looks kinda hot. for an eleven-year-old. 'A day at the beach' the subscription says.  
  
But, who's that? I look at the next photo. It must be taken right after the last one because the scene is almost the same. But now I see a little blond boy next to her. He's wearing blue swimming trunks. And he is kissing her cheek! With his eyes closed? The little brat! Who ever told him he could kiss her cheek! What the. What is this? Why am I getting angry with an eleven-year-old kid kissing Bulma on her cheek? Damn Kid. I'd better try the next page before this is getting out of control.  
  
As I turn the leaves more boys are coming. More and more guys are kissing Bulma. The first ones just on her cheek and Bulma does it to them too. I feel strange when I look at those kinds of pictures. But I'm holding myself back easily. But the further I go the further they go. The older Bulma gets the more guys she's kissing mouth to mouth. The feeling I get is getting worse the further I go. I feel like I want to step inside the picture and kill the boy that's kissing her! THEY should get their DIRTY hands OFF MY WOMAN!!! What? Wait a minute. What am I thinking? This isn't now and this isn't here. This was before I ever arrived on this planet! Than why am I feeling this strange? Why do I have the urge to get Bulma out of there? Could it be.? No way! Not me! Not the proud saiyan Prince! I can't be jealous. Can I? NO! I have to convince myself that I am NOT jealous! DAMNIT! Why can't this feeling just stop?  
  
I've moved on. Bulma is 16 now; she's been that for a while. I've seen her wit many males. I kept having that feeling and damn do I hate myself for that. I saw this one guy who had his hand under her shirt! My hands almost squashed the book and my teeth almost broke by the force I was gritting them. I really had to calm myself down there to stop myself from raising my powerlevel and blast the book (and with that probably the entire attic) away! And that wouldn't even be that bad, but having to explain to Bulma that I did it because. because I'm jealous. That would hurt my pride for sure! No way I'm going to let myself get out of control that much! Ever! My hands are trembling when I turn to the next page. And it is not out of fear of what to expect like before.  
  
I'm on the next page and I'm calmed down. Here Bulma is standing next to a. What? NO WAY! Is that. KAKAROT??? WHAHAHA. He looks REDICULOUS. WHAHAHA. Man, was he a LOSER! My eyes move to the subscription. 'This is my new friend Goku. He's twelve and he's the strongest kid I've ever seen. Oh yeah, and he had a dragonball. He thought it was his grandfather. Cute!' WHAHA so it IS him. Man, I never knew this! No wonder he never said anything about that. Whaha! A dragonball as a grandfather? This is getting better and better. Hey, look! My eyes are focused on his ass. He still has his tail here. I wonder when he lost it.  
  
Suddenly my good mood is changing as I remember my tail. It was so precious! And then they cut it off! That was the reason I lost that battle on earth! I was so close to immortality. If I'd been able to gain that, I would've finished off both Kakkarot and Frieza myself! GRRR If I ever find out who was responsible for cutting it off, he's going to pay! I grit my teeth. I realise I raised my powerlevel a bit. I lower it immediately. I don't want anyone coming up here. I guess I'd better continue before I get to angry. My tail was so precious. The day it was cut off is to embarrassing to remember. It changed my whole life! Damn! I'd better get on with the book. My thoughts are drifting way too far. That's not good. Dende knows what will come of it. Not much good I guess. Guess I'd better move on.  
  
As I do so I see some more stupid pictures of Kakkarot. The fool didn't even know what a camera was! There's one picture of him where he's holding the thing himself. Well, I guess it is him; you only see a big nose and an even bigger eye and cheek. The subscription says 'Guess who didn't know how the camera worked.' An of course there is a picture of Goku eating. Revolting! I'm glad I finally see a picture without him on it.  
  
This one just has Bulma on it. Just Bulma and swimming suit that is. Man, she really changed a lot since her 11th birthday. I hadn't noticed it before because of the boys at the picture and because of Kakkarot's crazy behaviour, but she has grown into a real woman! Her hair hangs loose and it reaches till just over her shoulders. She's really showing off her breasts, which have grown a lot too since she was 11. I can hardly stop gazing at her! She is truly gorgeous! Man, she looked good back there! She still looks good now of course, but she too grows older. Though I've got to say that most women of her age look a lot older than she does. 'But then again,' I tell myself with a sneering grin, 'she is MY woman.' I'm still gazing at this picture, remembering what I thought earlier about human beings staring at a picture. I think I now understand why they do that. What? Now I'm becoming human? Damn! But she's so hot! I've got to quit this right now! Guess I'd better turn to the next page.  
  
When I finally find myself able to stop glaring at her I turn the page. Again I see her on a picture, only now there is a little bald boy next to her. WHAHA He looks even more ridiculous than Kakkarot did! A little bald guy. If I didn't know better I'd say he was a QUEBALL!! Hn, I wonder who that is. I guess I'd better check the subscription. I look at what the words beneath the picture say. WHAT? NO WAY! THAT is KRILLEN? WHAHA! I can imagine why he never showed pictures of himself as a boy! WHAHAHA. Even Kakkarot looks better! He really does! WHAHAHA, Better turn to the next page before they hear me downstairs WHAHAHA.  
  
There aren't as many pictures with him on them in here as there are from Kakkarot. Ha, I can imagine why! There is however one picture of Kakkarot and Baldy together. The subscription says that on that picture they are heading towards the old guy, Master Roshi. They are going to train with him. So that's the one who taught them how to fight? That old guy that sit in his chair all day long, wishing he had a girl from one of those magazines of his? I can't believe it! I lost from a trainee of a crazy old women lover? Wait, I remember they told me once that when he died for the first time, he went to an old master in the martial arts somewhere in heaven. He must have been the one that trained him so well. How else was he able to take both Nappa AND me down? Grrr, Nappa, that weakling. I say that if it weren't for me to protect his sorry ass, he would've been dead ten times before I finished him off! And it served him right! Pathetic weakling! Better not think about him anymore, He's not worth it.  
  
I continue looking at the pictures in the book. I see I've reached the point where Bulma and that weakling Yamcha are dating. Every picture I see the two of them together I feel more and more like I want to rip out the photo and tear it apart. DAMN WEAKLING! I look at those pictures in disgust. I can not imagine them living happily ever after. But what is that? I see a picture with just Bulma on it. Haven't seen that in a while. As I look better I see tears are falling from her eyes. But why is she crying? I check the subscription. 'Just broke up with Yamcha for the first time. And it wouldn't be the last.' WHAT? That BASTARD made her cry? I grit my teeth as I feel the anger burning inside of me. He made her CRY by breaking up with her! Again I feel my powerlevel rising. I do my best to keep it hidden but my anger is too much. I feel like I want to blast the entire attic to hell and Yamcha after that. Come on Vegeta, I voice is telling me, that was all in the past. That's all over now! Bulma is yours now. And she will be yours forever. Yamcha can't hurt her anymore, Just CALM DOWN! To my big surprise I am calmed down now. That voice is right. He can not hurt her anymore. And if anyone even does so much as pointing at her in the wrong way, they'll have to deal with ME! And that, I promise with a grin, won't be a very nice experience.  
  
I continue turning the leaves. I keep seeing pictures of her and Yamcha. Though my grin is gone I can control myself now. I try not to think to much as I look at those photos. I'm almost finished with the book when I see a picture I remember being taken. It was taken when Bulma and Yamcha had finally broken up for ever. I feel my grin coming back to me again as I turn the last page. I wonder what's there. No more Yamcha I guess.  
  
On the last page there is only one big picture of. ME! And I'm SMILING! Not just an evil grin, but a smile! I don't remember that picture being taken! And It's a good thing I didn't because If I'd seen it before I would've destroyed the camera. Besides, looking at what I'm wearing and how the furniture stands, the picture is taken before the androids came. When DID I smile? There is a little subscription here. It's a big one. 'And this handsome one is Vegeta, my new boyfriend. He might act tough, but he does have a heart. And I'm carrying his baby! Isn't that great? I took this picture at one of the rare moments he smiles. Good thing he doesn't know I'm taking it. He would go crazy, hihi.' I should be angry when I look at that picture but I'm not. I'm not angry at all. Not even for taking that picture without telling me about it. I am kind of. faltered. Flattered? I can't believe I just thought that! Oh well, my good mood is coming back to me again, and I'd like to keep it that way.  
  
I close the book and put it back in the box. I look around me. The attic is still a mess. And so are my thoughts. After everything I've seen today, I don't know what to think anymore. I'd better go on with this woman's work before I loose my better mood. I look at the books in the box. Memories, Who needs them.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I guess you realise that I've been holding back with Vegeta's thoughts. Well, that's gonna change! 'Cause in the next chap (and the last one) he's gonna find a box with his own stuff in it. Let the real memory torture begin! But remember; if you won't review Vegeta will not find any other stuff. So review! The more I get, the sooner it will be done! 


	4. Chapter Four

Author's note: I normally don't write those because I don't even read them myself, but then again, I don't read disclaimers either but I do write them. There are a few things I'd like to say before I start. First I want to thank my reviewers for reviewing! Second I want to thank someone that gave me a tip for the last chapter. He recommended to me to use a song called 'This Woman's Work' from Maxwell. I will be using some of it in my fic for sure! I don't know if he meant it for the way I use it, but we'll see. I still have no idea how I'm going to end this story, but I'll figure that out while I'm writing. But I do know that this won't be a short chapter compared with the others. Have fun with the last part of 'Thoughts at the attic'.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, I just use its characters  
  
Thoughts at the attic  
  
I close the book and put it back in the box. I look around me. The attic is still a mess. And so are my thoughts. After everything I've seen today, I don't know what to think anymore. I'd better go on with this woman's work before I loose my better mood. I look at the books in the box. Memories, Who needs them.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
I put the box back with the other boxes of worthless junk and continue cleaning. I find the strangest things up here, books with fairytales, the first drawing Trunks ever drew - for as far as you can call it a drawing, he said it were cars, but then again, that was besides mammy and daddy the only word he knew. I even found a box with an old broken tea-set that I'd never seen before. Why would anyone want to keep junk like that? However, I decided not to throw it away. It would probably have some of that 'emotional value' to Bulma. I'm not in the mood to argue with her now. My mind is still to clouded from the pictures I just saw.  
  
I'm putting the box with the tea-set back, carefully not to break more than is already broken, as my eye falls on an other box just like the one with the photoalbums in it, hidden in the corner behind the bigger boxes I just moved. Only this one is different. It's smaller and it has.??? It has MY name on it? Why in the universe would there be a box up here with MY name on it? And why didn't anybody ever tell me about it? I must not forget to ask the woman why she never told me. But first I want to see what's in there. At least. I think I want to. Is there a photobook in there from me? I don't think so, since I've never been very keen on somebody taking a picture of me. There wouldn't be enough pictures to fill a stupid book. And besides, if it was a photobook, than why isn't it with the other books?  
  
I decide to take a look. Somehow the curiosity becomes more than I can resist. DAMN I must be really weak if such a feeling can get to me so much. At this moment I hate myself for it. I carefully grab the box and I sit down. My hands start to tremble again. I want to open it, to find out what's inside, but at that same moment I feel a cold shiver walking down my back. I move in order to make it go away, but it doesn't help much. Could I, Prince of all Saiyans, be actually afraid of some memories? NO I refuse to let it get to me that much! I move my hands to put the box away, but to my great fear I see that instead of lifting the entire box, they only lift the lid and put it down besides the box.  
  
I close my eyes and grit my teeth. Now I have no choice but to look inside. Don't worry I tell myself. I've been in worse predicaments and I survived those. I REFUSE to let this get to me. Still I pray to Dende about what I will find. I open my eyes again and look at what's inside  
  
The first object I see in here is. a scouter? What in the universe would the woman do with a scouter? And where did she get it? Of course! That weakling Raditz! I take it out of the box. Could she have it from him? But, why would she keep it? I wonder. would it still work? I decide to try it. Just for fun. I put the thing in front of my eye. Even though it has been so many years since the last time I wore a scouter, I still remember exactly how it works. Guess that's because of all those years I've worked with these things. Pathetic stuff it is. It can't even come near the reading of a super saiyan level before it explodes! They were handy to contact others though. We used them a lot as communication devices. And if somebody was in trouble, he'd just have to wear the thing and everybody else could hear him.  
  
I must admit I prefer the ability to sense ki. That's one thing I learned from Kakarot and his lame friends. That way I don't need this thing to read power levels. It's a lot more convenient. I don't really like it when things depend on devices. They only get broke. Take the gravity machine for example. That thing is the reason that I'm stuck up here in the first place! Well, and of course that annoying woman! I grit my teeth again when I think of her. She's probably somewhere out making fun of me cleaning the attic! I will find a way to make her pay.  
  
I am still wearing the scouter. Why did I do that again? Oh, right. I was going to see if it still worked. I push the button by my ear a few times. Nothing. The radio is dead. Either that or there are no other scouters being used right now. Well, let's just see if the power reading still works. Now where can I check it on? I'd better not use it on my son and Kakarot's youngest brat outside. Their levels are probably high enough to make the thing explode. Guess I'll have to find something else to use it on. But what? I scan the attic for a life form, any life forms at all. Suddenly I sense a very VERY small ki. That must be a rat or something. Oh well, since I don't have anything better right now. I push the button an other time and I point the scouter at the pace where I felt the rat.  
  
The thing gives a bleep and then I see numbers appearing. At least. I think it are numbers. What I see is not what I am supposed to see. They look like. Earth numbers?! That WOMAN! She changed the numbers! WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? I never told her she could mess with MY stuff! I look again at the number that had appeared on the screen. If I'm right, than that's a 3. That could be. I guess 3 is a normal power level for a rat. I don't know for sure because I haven't actually worked with numbers for a while. My ki sensing ability has developed enough. I don't need this useless device anymore. I take it off and put it next to the box. What else is in there?  
  
I look back in the box. I see two other square things in there. I'll take out one of them first, the bigger one. Not that it's that big or something. In my hand I'm now holding something iron or something. There's nothing on this side of it so I guess it's the back. I turn it around. Haha, I can't believe it. It's. The REMOTE CONTROLLER for Nappa's space ship! I can't believe I forgot all about that! When I left this planet after one of Kakarot's allies had cut off my tail, I must've been to beaten up to remember this. And after I was healed it never came to me that his ship should still be here somewhere. How foolish of me not to remember! Not that the ship would've done me any good. Frieza would've tracked it down in no time and after what happened on Namek, he would've destroyed the entire ship! And besides, even though it wasn't as fast as Nappa's ship, that thing those humans made at least had some space to train in. And I'm glad it did because it had no sleeping gas or a computer to wake you up. I really needed that training space. It always helped me feeling better. At least I felt like I did SOMEthing to become better than Kakarot instead of just wasting my time looking for him.  
  
I decide to try if the thing still worked. Nappa always forgot his code, so he asked me to remember it for him. What was it again? 5839? 5938? Something like that. Let's see. The number of planets he had destroyed and the number of planets I had destroyed. Well, my number was 59 so I guess his number was 38 then. Yes! That's it, 3859! I'm positive! Let's try it. I watch at the device I'm holding with one hand, while I use my other hand to push the right buttons. If everything worked right, the ship would be here only in a matter of seconds. I've waited 10 seconds. 15 seconds. But the ship didn't appear. Well, guess it won't come anymore. It should've been here by now. That can only mean two things. Either the humans have found a way to hold the ship down, or this thing is broke. I guess it's the last one since I doubt those weakling have any material strong enough to hold the ship down when its owner asks for it. Oh, wait, maybe the ship is destroyed. That's another possibility.  
  
Well, doesn't matter anyway. There's nothing left for me there to go to. Not anymore. A lot must've changed out there, I think as I look out the little window. Space as I knew it must've changed a lot since the last time I've been there. After Frieza died, a lot of planets started rebuilding. Some beings must even have created a new planet since a lot of species lost their old worlds. And I don't think anyone would be waiting to see me again. Or any other saiyan. I look back at the remote controller in my hand. I place it next to the box, just as I did with the scouter.  
  
There was one more small object on the blue and white bottom of the box. I look inside to see what it is. WHA.. My heart stopped beating in my chest as I take out the black object that was in there. Is this. What I think it is? I'm holding a small black box in my hand and look at it with amazement. But. Where did she get that?! . Of course! She must have found it in my clothes when I returned to this planet after my failed attempting to find Kakarot in space. I thought. I thought it was GONE! I open the black box expecting to see it empty. She must've taken it out. But to my biggest surprise I see that the little box is not empty at all! Inside is. A golden ring!  
  
That ring! It belonged to. My father! This was the Royal Ring! It belonged to the king himself, who would give it to his son when he reached the age of sixteen and became a man. It has been passed down for generations! And it stopped with my father because by the time I reached that age, he was gone! Dead! Killed by that disgusting lizard! And when I fanally turned 18, he decided that I could have it. It was nothing but a worthless piece of shit to him! And he just loved the look in my eyes as I remembered my father. 'Aaaah, is that now the great Saiyan Prince? Whining? What a pity excuse of a prince you are!' Those were the exact words he said! For years I've been holding back my tears. I was a warrior, a prince! I couldn't cry! But then it just became to much for me. How I fought to keep those tears from coming. And all that time he was just laughing at me! That BASTARD!  
  
My hands are trembling as I take the small object out of it's box. My entire body is trembling! I look at the ring in the palm of my hand. Slowly put the ring on. And I feel warm from inside. A little voice is speaking to me. 'I'm proud of you, my son.' That sounded just like. Father? Could it be true? Was he really proud of me? After everything that has happened? Despite my super saiyan powers I feel I've become so weak! I'm not a warrior, Father. I let you down. My entire race! How can you still be proud of me? But no answer comes. As I watch the ring around my finger I start remembering again. My father was hard for me, that's for sure. His expectations were great. I was the son of the King of all saiyans! I had Royal blood! I was one of the few saiyan with the ability to become super saiyan. That was in my blood! He couldn't let me become a whimp!  
  
But despite all the hard training he let me go trough, and despite the fact that he was away for most of the time, I know he loved me. He couldn't show it to the outside world of course. After all, caring was considered as a weakness. Especially to Frieza! But he loved me, I know he did. I could hear it in his voice.  
  
I remember how he always insisted on training me myself. Even though he could let the best of his warriors train me, if finally had the time, he would train me myself. I remember one such time. He was training me and he was so hard on me. But I didn't care. I knew he had to be like this. He kept giving me more and more and I kept becoming weaker and weaker. And then I gave up. I felt fear coming. I thought he would be mad like hell! I knew for sure he would start yelling at me. That I was a pathetic weakling. A disgrace for the entire race giving up like that. Not worthy of being his son. At least that's how I felt at that moment. But he didn't. He didn't yell at me, he didn't call me weak. Instead he said: 'I know you've got a little life in you left. I know you've got a lot of strength left.' And he reached out his hand. I looked at it suspiciously but he just said: 'Give me your hand.' And when I looked into his eyes, I knew he wasn't joking. I really felt like I could trust him. I didn't know what it was I saw in his eyes back then, but I knew it wasn't disappointment. I was something positive. So I took his hand and he pulled me up saying it was enough for that day. That was the last I ever saw of him.  
  
I can see his face right in front of me now. And I know what it was I saw that day. It was indeed no disappointment, nor was it pride. I was love.  
  
I take the ring off my finger. My father might not have officially passed it on to me, but I know what I have to do! The day my son, Trunks, turns 16, I will continue the tradition. This ring has been going from father to son for over a hundred generations. And it will continue that way for at least a hundred more! Just as the legend says  
  
I put the ring next to the other two objects. The box is empty now. No wait, the bottom can't be blue and white! It's a brown box! I look again and I see it's something else inside. At first I don't recognise it. But then I see the orange colour and I remember again. MY SAIYAN ARMOR! The one I wore on Namek! On top are the boots and the gloves. I take it out. I never thought I would ever see this thing again. And. It's fixed? The extended parts on the shoulders are whole again! I thought one of them was blasted of at Namek. Then it comes to me. OF COURSE! The woman fixed it! When I came out of the time chamber to fight cell, She said she had made armours like the one I wore on Namek. She must've fixed this one too back then. But why didn't she tell me?  
  
I wonder if. Would it still fit me? Well, of course it would! This armour can fit any size. It would even fit my Oozaru form. I decide to try it on. I start taking off my hideous pink shirt. I can't believe I'm still wearing that thing. I should've blasted it away the first time Bulma put it down for me to wear. But that doesn't matter, I will deal with that later. Right now I'm changing into my old armour. When I'm done I check myself. I forgot how nice it is to wear this. If only I had a mirror. Wait! I DO have a mirror! I just put it away while I was cleaning the mess inside that big closet. If only I remember where I left it. Oh, right! I stand up and walk to the opposite corner. Behind all those big boxes I find the mirror I was looking for.  
  
I wipe away the dust and place the mirror on the ground while letting it lean against the boxes behind it. I take a good look at myself. I can't help but smirk at my reflection. That's more like it. Now I look quite the same as I did on Namek. A little bit older and stronger perhaps, but the armour still looks good on me. It always has, if I may say so myself.  
  
As I look at myself in the mirror, I start recalling all the battles I fought. Every single one. I remember how proud I was with myself after destroying an other planet. Those were some days. Fighting, conquering, that's what a true saiyan lived for. And I was the prince of that race. An elite warrior who did not know fear even if it would slam him right in his face! At least, that was before Frieza came to destroy it all! I grit my teeth when I think back of that ugly lizard. He destroyed EVERYTHING I ever cared about! My people, my planet! DAMN did I hate him! Most of all I hated the fact that he could do whatever he wanted to and he always got away with it! Those horrible nights on his ship! I just can't forget what that BASTARD did to me! WHY? Every night on that blasted ship I was in fear. In fear that I was summoned by Frieza again. Fear of what he could do to me, and what he WOULD do to me. I knew fear all right! And DAMN was I glad to go on a mission. I knew that as long as I was away to destroy other beings lives, Frieza couldn't destroy mine. So I made sure I was away a lot.  
  
I feel my knees are getting weaker and weaker. I close my eyes to find the strength to keep standing, to get rid of the thought, but I feel it doesn't help. I feel that it only gets worse! Once more I hear that horrible knock on my door. KNOCK, KNOCK. KNOCK. That HAD to be Zarbon. He was the only way who always knocked that way. I just can't seem to get it out of my head! DAMN do I hate that sound! And after the knock came Zarbons voice. I can still recall that disgusting tone he used! Like he was going to take a child on a trip to a zoo, and afterwards to destruction. He sure had fun every time he came to get me. AAARGGH!!! I feel like I want to scream! I want to BLAST away the door!. Oh, how I wanted Zarbon dead!  
  
I try to open my eyes again in an other attempt to make the pain and the horror stop. But I can't! They won't open! I feel the fear running trough my veins, along with the horror and hatred against that lizard. I can still feel him. Every night when I close my eyes I feel his breath in my neck. His hands on my tail, squeezing so that I won't escape. A normal beings deepest nightmare can't possibly even come close to the sound of that voice! That laugh, that HORRIBLE laugh! I hear it all over again. He's in the room, I can smell it! Frieza is here! But Trunks had DESTROYED him! He was DEAD, GONE FOREVER! Then how.? Will this nightmare start all over again?  
  
I finally find the strength to open my eyes. I look around. No Frieza. But I KNOW he's here! I could hear him, smell him. I could FEEL HIM! He was there! I look in the mirror and what I see makes my heart stop. FRIEZA!!! I was right! That lizard IS here! He's standing right behind me! SMIRKING as he always did! How I hate that smirk. I turn around to face him but he's not there. I feel my powerlevel rising as I scan the entire attic. "I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, YOU DAMNED COWARD! COME AND FACE ME LIKE A TRUE WARRIOR!!" I realise I'm yelling, but I don't care. I don't care anymore if the woman hears me or not. I will put an end to this ONCE AND FOR ALL! I feel the rage inside me building. My saiyan blood is going crazy when I go on with my yelling "COME OUT, FRIEZA! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU! NOT ANYMORE! SO BE A SMART LIZARD AND SHOW YOURSELF BEFORE I BLAST YOU OUT!" I look around but I can't see him. And I still can't sense him.  
  
Suddenly I hear footsteps. Someone is coming up the stairs. Frieza? It has to be! The bastard finally got the nerve to show himself. I power up to super saiyan. How shall I kill him? I want him to kneel in front of me, I want to torture him. I want him to feel the pain I felt when he controlled me! But nothing I can think of will be enough. Death will be nothing compared to everything I've been trough! PAIN! That's what I should give him. Pain like he's never felt before! And I will give him that, I think while I feel a deadly smirk entering my face. He will suffer for what he's done!  
  
I decide to check out his power level first. I want to know exactly how much power I should use to bring him down, without killing him or blasting him unconscious. So I scan the stairs. WAHT? NO WAY! That isn't Frieza. That's BULMA. "NO WOMAN, DON'T!" I yell as I see someone open the door! "HE WILL KILL YOU! DON'T COME IN! STAY AWAY!!!" But it's already too late. She has opened the door. All I can think of is to get her out of there, but my legs won't move! I can't believe it! Is this the end? All the moments we shared together, your smiles, my scowls, our arguments. In one second it all flashes right before my very own eyes.  
  
All the things we should've said that we never said All the things we should've done that we never did  
  
All the things you wanted from me  
  
All the things that you needed tell me All the things I should've given but I didn't  
  
I look at her in fright, expecting a big, white blast to come straight at her. But. it doesn't! No matter how long I wait, she's still there. Alive! Why? Why didn't Frieza kill her? If he's here, than why does he let her live? He knows her death will be the only thing he hasn't done yet to make my life a living hell. He knows killing her will kill me. Super saiyan or no super saiyan. Then why doesn't he?  
  
The woman starts walking to me. "No don't!" I try to yell at her, warn her, make her go away so that she will be safe, but I can't. All that comes out of my mouth is a faint whisper. "Frieza." She keeps walking. I hear her voice. She's talking to me. But what does she say? I don't know. I hear her voice, but I can't form the words. All I know is that she is trying to comfort me. I feel I'm getting calm. I see how her hand reaches out for mine and I feel my hand reaching out for hers. Slowly, very slowly I let my power level down until I'm not a super saiyan anymore.  
  
The woman is still talking to me. Only now I understand what she's saying. Or at least, I can hear her words. "It's okay, Vegeta. Frieza is dead, remember? Her voice calmed me down, but her words don't. Dead? What is she talking about? I saw him behind me a minute ago. He's not dead, he's alive! I feel how our hands touch. She's softly coming to me. "You. You're alright?" is everything I can say. "Don't worry, Vegeta. I'm fine." Is her reply. "There is no Frieza here. He's dead and he won't come back." She says. I feel my knees getting weaker again and I fall on the floor. I feel the woman's arms around my waist to support me. She kneels down too. I feel how she takes my head in her hands and places it on her chest. With one hand she's stroking my hair. I feel like a baby. I feel like I should be crying but I just can't let it show. But I don't back off. I can't help it. It's okay for her to see me like this. Just this once. For her it is okay.  
  
Well, that was it. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I hope you're happy with the end. I couldn't make it any better than this. Believe me I tried. I just didn't know what to do. At first I thought I was going to let Vegeta kill himself. But then I realised that if he'd do that he would've done that way before and he didn't. Then I thought I was going to let him kill Bulma, thinking she was Frieza. But that didn't seem good either. And then I wanted to bring Frieza back to kill Bulma just before her hand touched Vegeta's hand, but that would be unrealistic. 1. Because Frieza was dead already and 2. Because Vegeta would've sensed him when he was scanning the area and 3. Because Goku or at least SOMEONE should've sensed him or seen him. I could make him without a power level like the androids so that nobody would sense him, but that wouldn't be good. That would be far from original, plus it is unrealistic and boring and easy. So, this is it. The first fic I ever finished. Not bad for the first time, if I may say so myself. Please review and tell me what you think! I'd appreciate it very VERY much. 


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